The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.