They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends