slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day