its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Shitshow foam night was such a success
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I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.