in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core