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you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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