So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.