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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
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