She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
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getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
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I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.