i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours