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oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
my sisters under your porch take her home
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
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