Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (254)

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  it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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  (254): it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless. http://tfl.nu/hrpm
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  Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.

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  (254): Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer. http://tfl.nu/oysw
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  There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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  (254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2
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  People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...

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  (254): People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga... http://tfl.nu/n729
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  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
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  I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time

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  (254): I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time http://tfl.nu/rajz
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  I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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  (254): I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night. http://tfl.nu/j8hi
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  his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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  (254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1
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  our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day

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  (254): our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day http://tfl.nu/vjaj
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  The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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  (254): The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium http://tfl.nu/41rv
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  Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

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  (254): Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way? http://tfl.nu/etox
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  just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.

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  (254): just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night. http://tfl.nu/wct2
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  The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"

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  (254): The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro" http://tfl.nu/wdu7
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  You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"

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  (254): You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution" http://tfl.nu/yos3
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  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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  (254): I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer... http://tfl.nu/1ty6
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