Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maine (207)

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.

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  (207): I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside. http://tfl.nu/y846
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

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  (207): he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else http://tfl.nu/pyqa
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  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

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  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?

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  (207): Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation? http://tfl.nu/353y
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  This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.

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  (207): This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand. http://tfl.nu/o8tl
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.

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  (207): Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers. http://tfl.nu/zz2j
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  There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.

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  (207): There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/nr8v
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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  (207): Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit. http://tfl.nu/u5bn
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.

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  (207): Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/jzfa
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  reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

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  (207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2661) Bad night (1169)
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  Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.

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  (207): Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/f26o
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  Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.

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  (207): Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present. http://tfl.nu/yqaq
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

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  (207): i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like http://tfl.nu/ol8k
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  (207): View more from Maine

  this boner is exhausting

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  (207): this boner is exhausting http://tfl.nu/qxdc
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