You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like