Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Follow @tfln