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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
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