Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (219)

Last Night in Indiana (219)

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N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..

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(219): N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever.. http://tfl.nu/4w8h

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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.

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(219): Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo. http://tfl.nu/ey2b

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So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

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(219): So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers. http://tfl.nu/p4nm

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sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.

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(219): sometimes i really wish you were a nugget. http://tfl.nu/qrxi

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I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?

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(219): I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM? http://tfl.nu/704g

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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal

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(219): I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal http://tfl.nu/2jng

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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

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(219): my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear http://tfl.nu/60vm

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community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.

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(219): community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal. http://tfl.nu/j3ch

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I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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(219): I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious. http://tfl.nu/0lgt

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Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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(219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h

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Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.

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(219): Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though. http://tfl.nu/18ka

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about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

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yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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(219): about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town? (219): yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes? http://tfl.nu/jl45

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Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

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(219): Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt http://tfl.nu/6y5k

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You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.

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(219): You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty. http://tfl.nu/gbls

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Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help

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(219): Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help http://tfl.nu/bokj

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Last Night in Indiana (219)

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