I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.