Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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