Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that