I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.