well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way