Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Colorado (720)

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  I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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  (720): I think I can smell my own vagina right now http://tfl.nu/1nsr
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  You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.

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  (720): You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger. http://tfl.nu/3qkv
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  so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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  (720): so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass http://tfl.nu/kbrv
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  he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again

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  (720): he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again http://tfl.nu/4hwy
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  I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

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  Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

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  But what if I pay for the gas?

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  (303): I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain. (720): Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic. (303): But what if I pay for the gas? http://tfl.nu/j2h0
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  So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?

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  This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?

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  (605): So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win? (720): This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok? http://tfl.nu/drjm
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  I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.

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  (720): I think id rather eat ped egg shavings. http://tfl.nu/okl6
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  It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants

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  (720): It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants http://tfl.nu/j8mk
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  The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.

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  (720): The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in. http://tfl.nu/itcs
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  and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.

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  (720): and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook. http://tfl.nu/6m40
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  its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it

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  (720): its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it http://tfl.nu/rdim
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  I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.

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  (720): I lost count of how many people I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/e9nm
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  What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to

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  (720): What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to http://tfl.nu/xbm0
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  Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.

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  (720): Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands. http://tfl.nu/3psd
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  God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.

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  And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.

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  (303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with. (720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids. http://tfl.nu/a779
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