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I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
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