like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She's allergic to latex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper