he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.