he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.