Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.