Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I accidentally burped into my bong.