Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.