Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oklahoma (405)

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  The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick

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  (405): The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick http://tfl.nu/0oxs
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  I am spending my child support on dildos

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  (405): I am spending my child support on dildos http://tfl.nu/j7aa
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  I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters

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  (405): I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters http://tfl.nu/onkh
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  He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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  (405): He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk. http://tfl.nu/iths
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  So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid

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  Oh.My.God.

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  (405): So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid (1-405): Oh.My.God. http://tfl.nu/b4yo
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  I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth

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  (405): I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth http://tfl.nu/n9x2
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  That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

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  (405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin
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  If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.

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  (405): If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over. http://tfl.nu/i8gt
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  I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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  (405): I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible. http://tfl.nu/59e7
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  sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.

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  (405): sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss. http://tfl.nu/je9l
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  Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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  (405): Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for http://tfl.nu/gqdd
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  It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.

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  (405): It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you. http://tfl.nu/abkv
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  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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  (405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm
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  do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?

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  or abortion recommendation cards.

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  (405): do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards? (405): or abortion recommendation cards. http://tfl.nu/knt8
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  Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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  (405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz
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