the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.