It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.