5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick