i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you