she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.