my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.