Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'