Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
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Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut