Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.