Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.