best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?