yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.