How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.