I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"