You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.