you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before