She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go