probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me