You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.