I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.