But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.