I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you