She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets