Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
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Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
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Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.