i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.