Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker