did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.