She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.