I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.