Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
oh god was she eating orange peels again
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.