My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila