the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.