she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
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I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
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yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.